The idea about a novel which focuses on the romantic aspects of marriage intrigues me.
Ok, stop laughing. I realize romantic marriage is almost an oxymoron.
As I enter my 40s and my 10th year of marriage, with 2 children (how’s that for stats and numbers?) I realize that marriage isn’t at all like falling in love. Perhaps that’s because most love stories are about the falling, not the ever after.
We’re great at the falling. Stories about the falling are awesome. We swoon over the falling, the wedding and the promise of love and lust forever. Roll credits.
Except a bottom is inevitably reached.
The falling ends with a resounding thump and plateaus into the most levelled, smooth ride (at best) or into a bumpy, stormy ride (at worst) which leaves most of us wondering what the heck happened? Where is the excitement, the onslaught of sex and indulgent adoration of each other, the promise of being loved forever? Most of us who are living through these years of being very married and raising children are struggling. We remember how our marriage started and our feelings vary between nostalgia and resentment because a most intoxicating time has become ancient history.
But, does it have to be buried? Can it be excavated?
Most of the evidence at hand (anecdotal comments from many friends and friends of friends and my own less than lively marriage) points to a big NO. However, in the deepest part of my heart, I have to believe that YES, marriage can be a state of ultimate romance in which love is celebrated…as long as both partners are willing participants.
I think that’s the kind of novel I would love to read. The novel where a couple does not allow the daily routine of school/activities/dinner/bedtime to kill a marriage; where two people keep careers (aka phone/tablet/laptop) out of the bedroom; where personal interests don’t supersede the needs of the marriage. Wait a second, that sounds more like fantasy than romance!
I love reading Regency and Victorian romance but would love to venture into Contemporary because I need know whether or not a book like this has been written. And if it hasn’t, maybe it should be. After all isn’t that the point of Romance – to celebrate love and inspire us to do the same in our own lives?
How do you think we can prepare for marriage better? Do you have a novel you can recommend to fulfill this reading craving I have?